IOFFL General Manager Awards

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IF ONLY... F A N T A S Y F O O T B A L L L EA G U E

THE FIFTH ANNUAL GENERAL MANAGER AWARDS

THE "SHOW ME THE MONEY!!!" AWARD
STEVE

How the $%^& does Steve do it!!!! Between drafting players on nobody's list and watching them come through, to seemingly arbitrary line-up changes from week to week, and watching those pan out too!!!

Steve wins his THIRD points title in FIVE years in 2002!!

SHOOOOOW.......MEEEEEE......THE MONEY!!!!!!

THE "ANTICIPATION" AWARD
T / J

Back who knows when, Heinz Ketchup used the Carly Simon song, Anticipation, in their advertising....

In 2002, Tim and Jim used the Pittsburgh Steeler receiver Hines Ward to lead their way to .....wins??? No....a lot of points, but not enough wins.....the defense let them down time and time again.....FOUR times their opponent reached their season's high score while playing T/J.....

Unlike the ketchup, T/J's defense did not come through.....or, maybe that would be EXACTLY like the ketchup!!.....The Heinz kind, anyway.......

THE "VAPO-RUB" AWARD
PATRICK

Anybody ever have a cold when they were a young-un', and have their mom rub a little Vick's Vaporub on their chest (now that we're older and more mature, we have wives to do this),
and make it all better??

Well, this wasn't a Vaporub, but it was a Vick.....Michael Vick, to be exact......and in 2002, he led all QB's in scoring....and Patrick to the second best record in the IOFFL.....

Unfortunately for Patrick, he happened to be in the same division as Steve....
(See "Show Me the Money" above)

THE "1-900-PSYCHIC" AWARD
CHRIS Q

Corey Dillon.....Anthony Thomas....Warrick Dunn.....Dee Brown.....which to play, which to play???

1-900-PSYCHIC (call now, our operators are standing by!!)
would certainly have had to have done better!!!

(They couldn't have done much worse!)

THE "HOP ON THE BUS, GUS" AWARD
JIM

Somewhere back in the early part of the 2002 fantasy football season, Jim traded Marvin Harrison
for Tony Gonzalez and Jerome Bettis - a.k.a., The Bus.....

Well, Jim hopped on that Bus, and never looked back!!.....Riding it to the play-offs,
and then to a spot in the Championship Semi-Finals!!!

Hey, The Bus was a better ride than Tony Richardson!!

THE "MARTHA REEVES" AWARD
C / E / R

Back in the 60's, this Motown lady - along with the Vandellas - had a hit song
titled "Nowhere to Run".....that pretty much describes the 2002 season
for Chris, Eric, and Rich.......finishing in last place in Total Points....
and setting a new record for futility with only two wins.....

Yep....."Nowhere to Run to, Baby....Nowhere to Hide!!"

Oh, and C/E/R still had their QB "mo-jo" working....
Kurt Warner....fantasy hero to fantasy bust!!!

NFL QB's everywhere are praying that C/E/R doesn't select them next year!!!

THE "J.R. EWING" AWARD
M / F / D

Flashback to last year, Week 17......Mark, Frank, and Doug scored 58 points to win a weekly, Total Points, AND the Super Bowl......a better week may never happen again........but, was it all a dream????
And who shot M/F/D in 2002?????

2002 and M/F/D.....absolute proof that you have to be nice to the people you meet on the way up......

THE "HOLINESS" AWARD
J / R / T

Kansas City RB Priest Holmes found the holes, and led all position players in fantasy scoring this year, and had he not missed the last two weeks of the season, probably would have led ALL players in scoring.....

J/R/T captured a division title this year with the Priest leading the way!

The BIG Question now is....will he be the first pick in the draft next year???

THE "DEUCE'S WILD!" AWARD
JOE B

"The Deuce" - RB Deuce McAllister of New Orleans - helped lead Joe to three weeklies
and
a top four finish in Total Points......

But alas, there was no "Life of Brian" here, as QB Brian Griese failed to pick up his share of the load, and Joe B failed to make the playoffs...........

THE "OLIVER TWIST" AWARD
PETE Q

Oliver, the little rag-a-muffin, with nothing to call his own, eats at a soup kitchen,
and surprises everybody by asking for more...............

Pete, in the RED on total points, makes it to the playoffs,
knocks out the team with the second best regular season record,
and then knocks out the team with the second best total points.......
and plays in the Super Bowl!!!

Please Sir......I'll Have Some More ?!?!?!?

THE "MONSTER'S, INC" AWARD
B / G

Marshall Faulk, Fred Taylor, Tim Brown, AND Brett Favre......Monsters of Fantasy Football, them all...
and all on the B/G roster this year.........scary, yes?

But, just like those monsters in the Disney movie, these guys turned out
to be great big Teddy Bears this year....except, those Disney monsters were way cuter!!!

and last but not least.............................

THE "CLINTON FOR PRESIDENT" AWARD
FRANK

No.....not HIM......and NO, DEFINITELY NOT HER!!!!!!

This would be Clinton, as in Clinton PORTIS........he scored WAY MORE than that other Clinton.....
and he didn't even have Monica for any "gimme's"!!!!

Oh, and Ricky Williams for Vice President!!!!

Cigar, anybody????

AND NOW FOR THE SERIOUS PART....

Thanks again to all the players in the IOFFL this year....as always, it has been a lot of fun!
We have a great bunch of guys in this league, and hopefully we'll all be back
for our 6th season in 2003!!

And if I said anything bad about your team (sorry, C/E/R!)......
and I hope I did at least once during the season!......
its all in fun!
(and, ummm, no offense to the Fantasy Gods, either!)

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THE FIFTH ANNUAL GENERAL MANAGER AWARDS

THE "SHOW ME THE MONEY!!!" AWARD STEVE

How the $%^& does Steve do it!!!! Between drafting players on nobody's list and watching them come through, to seemingly arbitrary line-up changes from week to week, and watching those pan out too!!!

Steve wins his THIRD points title in FIVE years in 2002!! SHOOOOOW.......MEEEEEE......THE MONEY!!!!!!

THE "ANTICIPATION" AWARD T / J

Back who knows when, Heinz Ketchup used the Carly Simon song, Anticipation, in their advertising....

In 2002, Tim and Jim used the Pittsburgh Steeler receiver Hines Ward to lead their way to .....wins??? No....a lot of points, but not enough wins.....the defense let them down time and time again.....FOUR times their opponent reached their season's high score while playing T/J.....

Unlike the ketchup, T/J's defense did not come through.....or, maybe that would be EXACTLY like the ketchup!!.....The Heinz kind, anyway.......

THE "VAPO-RUB" AWARD PATRICK

Anybody ever have a cold when they were a young-un', and have their mom rub a little Vick's Vaporub on their chest (now that we're older and more mature, we have wives to do this), and make it all better??

Well, this wasn't a Vaporub, but it was a Vick.....Michael Vick, to be exact......and in 2002, he led all QB's in scoring....and Patrick to the second best record in the IOFFL.....

Unfortunately for Patrick, he happened to be in the same division as Steve.... (See "Show Me the Money" above)

THE "1-900-PSYCHIC" AWARD CHRIS Q

Corey Dillon.....Anthony Thomas....Warrick Dunn.....Dee Brown.....which to play, which to play??? 1-900-PSYCHIC (call now, our operators are standing by!!) would certainly have had to have done better!!! (They couldn't have done much worse!)

THE "HOP ON THE BUS, GUS" AWARD JIM

Somewhere back in the early part of the 2002 fantasy football season, Jim traded Marvin Harrison for Tony Gonzalez and Jerome Bettis - a.k.a., The Bus.....

Well, Jim hopped on that Bus, and never looked back!!.....Riding it to the play-offs, and then to a spot in the Championship Semi-Finals!!!

Hey, The Bus was a better ride than Tony Richardson!!

THE "MARTHA REEVES" AWARD C / E / R

Back in the 60's, this Motown lady - along with the Vandellas - had a hit song titled "Nowhere to Run".....that pretty much describes the 2002 season for Chris, Eric, and Rich.......finishing in last place in Total Points.... and setting a new record for futility with only two wins.....